check-in, confirmed?

she says, "get ready to really feel just how much something means to you."

(on the morning of anything happening, you feel what? excited/nervous?
gosh all i really feel is sick, for the things i don't know yet are coming?
what are these THINGS?
i feel drunk, stupid, full of music, all i care about is Music-
STUPID, there is so much more going on in the world, how can you
how can you
only think of this
on the morning of things, most times, when it is something ostentatious
or then again meager-
there are sounds in my ears i feel are extravagant
there are sounds of sadness from years ago,
without sense, they make themselves known
and demand to be heard NOW)

is this what she meant?

re: books that smell new and i haven't read them

Iron & Wine
recycling on Wednesdays
dirty slippers
pork chops, boiled potatoes, peas
Parliament Lights
phone conversations: fruitful, fruitless, successively
plane ticket to New York, Friday morning
turning 30
churning the same differences
again,
again
stopstartnow
regarding all this.

diary of a stiff neck

Dear,
You subversive, subterranean little bother, you.
I've got nothing better to say than this.
I've got nothing but everything to be giddy about, and glad-
but my shoulders are in a twist and I'm mad-
Sealed with a kiss,
Dear.

the very best thing about today

Bon Iver.
(thank you morning edition, ten minutes each day can lead to infinite and beautiful possibilities, if only)

other things I learned about:
the words flume, diffident, and scant.
my distaste for mothers doing their children's homework.
the fact that i even find my own distaste distasteful, and not of much use.

i told myself a cautionary tale this afternoon about loneliness.
you know what happens, i said. don't forget to remember.

even my mother agrees

Your starcast for the week of March 5th:
ARIES (Mar. 21 - Apr. 19)

---

You are alive. You know this because there are flying reminders everywhere you turn. Emotions are high, life feels intense and unpredictable. This is how you know you are still alive. This is also a reminder of your mortal being. It can humble us all but also has a way of piercing through the trapped energy in our lives allowing for fresh new ‘Chi’ to flow again in areas where it has all become too dormant and stuck. Mars has just moved into feeling Cancer and makes an exact opposition in the sky to powerhouse Pluto on Thursday, March, 6. This is a time when forces larger than yourself are clearly in charge. Believe it or not, your Soul is playing captain now and is joining with the powers that be to guarantee more breakthroughs of immense personal growth.

The change starts within your emotional spaces and progressively has a ripple effect of positive transformation that transfers to the reality called your life. Stay open and new worlds of opportunity will materialize.

Yeah, yeah, of course i'm alive! why else would i have the audacity to re-print my own lofty horoscope for the week and expect any other breathing individual to give a damn? and yet.
the stars, the stars are aligned. shout it from the rooftop. certain things remain--dishpan hands, stiff neck, hundreds of revisions of one tiny little text--and yet everything else grinds along changing, blowing smoke and uncovering more bright, shimmering potholes. a machine of faults. a thing of wonder, no less.