as if I don't already sort of channel my mother involuntarily, for the next two weeks I am in charge of the domain that is hers. It's a little bit mine too, but really, it's hers. here are my duties: love & care for the dog, keep the plants hydrated, love the dog some more. incidentally the little brown girl is splayed out beside my chair as I type this; her proximity means I'm doing my job well and we have no love lost whatsoever.
in between tweaking cover letters & resume & teaching applications, paired with asking myself why I don't have a job yet and also WTF was I thinking for choosing this new career, I putter. I drink coffee early, I take the dog for a walk, I look around the yard as if for something. I eat, I read, I take the dog out again. I do some work and get frustrated and wonder if the dog's bored. I wonder if I'm bored too. I get the mail, remind myself to take the trash to the street tonight, fold the sheets and leave the side door open because a storm is coming.
it's fast and hot, the storm, but the thunder is righteous and it means I won't use the hose tonight in the yard. It'll keep. I'm thinking about the psychology of weather and how it seeps in, makes a little space inside of you. is there anything wrong in wanting to know what's coming?
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